when it began



i didn't even notice
it was a small thought


right before i'd reach to turn off
the bedside lamp
one last glance around to
make sure everything was in it's place and

wondering if i'd open my eyes in the morning
or not wake at all.

then i began to notice
that small thought
one among the many

as i'd leave to go out
reaching out to turn on the porch light


looking around my living room
thinking suddenly that
i might not be back to unlock the door
and turn the light on.